Story Development

The stories that I have written or edited are now posted on this page. With comments on the story in green.

Freddies first day

Mrs Millipede
Freddie Fly woke up very early on the morning of his first day of school. His big brother had started school last year and had been telling him all about how fun it was. He was so excited about all the things that he would learn and all the friends that he would make. He put on all his school clothes which his Dad had laid out for him the night before and he ran all the way downstairs for breakfast. His Dad was already up and had poured his favourite cereal into a bowel ready for him to eat. “There’s my big boy” said his dad with a smile on his face. “Now eat up, you want to be ready for your first day at school.” After breakfast the whole family got into the car and they drove to school. Freddie could see lots of other bugs already playing. They walked into the playground and Freddie’s older brother ran off to play with his friends. Freddie began to feel a bit scared; he knew that his Dad would have to leave him soon. The whistle blew and all the bugs went inside. There were lots of other bugs already in the classroom, with there mummies and daddies and grandmas and grandpa’s. At the front of the class was Freddie’s new teacher Mrs Millipede. Freddie’s Dad turned to him and said “its time for me to go now Freddie.” Freddie’s gave his Daddy a big hug and went and sat down on the mat. Mrs Millipede told the class all the things that they were going to do that day and Freddie soon forgot about being scared. Freddie did all his favourite things like painting and playing in the sandbox. When the home time bell rang Freddie didn’t want to leave. His Dad came to pick him up and he was so excited to tell him all the things he had done that day. He couldn’t wait to come back tomorrow to play with his new friends.

This story I wrote from scratch about Freddies first day at school. I wrote it when we needed some more things to go in the show. The timings were out and we were running short on all the segements. We all decided that we were going to do something to fill in the segements so we all wrote something. This is what I wrote to go into the Yellow sections. This added to the total section and made the segment longer. After I had written this I sent it to the girls to see what they thought about it. The thought that it was good. Here are the comments they made:

Louise- really good. only one problem louloubug is three and becky bee is four so mrs milipede cannot teach reception class, she teaches pre-school.

So i made these changes like she suggested and then  we recorded it the whole story to play in the show. I thought it was best that Mrs Millipede read the story as she is the teacher and it makes sense that she is the only one that could have read the stories as beckybee and Louloubug would have been to little. The final story read like this:

Mrs Millipede
Freddie Fly woke up very early on the morning of his first day of school. His big brother had started school last year and had been telling him all about how fun it was. He was so excited about all the things that he would learn and all the friends that he would make. He put on all his school clothes which his Dad had laid out for him the night before and he ran all the way downstairs for breakfast. His Dad was already up and had poured his favourite cereal into a bowel ready for him to eat. “There’s my big boy” said his dad with a smile on his face. “Now eat up, you want to be ready for your first day at school.” After breakfast the whole family got into the car and they drove to school. Freddie could see lots of other bugs already playing. They walked into the playground and Freddie’s older brother ran off to play with his friends. Freddie began to feel a bit scared; he knew that his Dad would have to leave him soon. The whistle blew and all the bugs went inside. There were lots of other bugs already in the classroom, with there mummies and daddies and grandmas and grandpa’s. At the front of the class was Freddie’s new teacher Mr Longlegs. Freddie’s Dad turned to him and said “its time for me to go now Freddie.” Freddie’s gave his Daddy a big hug and went and sat down on the mat. Mr Longlegs told the class all the things that they were going to do that day and Freddie soon forgot about being scared. Freddie did all his favourite things like painting and playing in the sandbox. When the home time bell rang Freddie didn’t want to leave. His Dad came to pick him up and he was so excited to tell him all the things he had done that day. He couldn’t wait to come back tomorrow to play with his new friends.

Michael Moths Birthday story

Mrs Millipede
This story is about Michael Moth. Hello Michael!

Michael
Hello everyone!

Mrs Millipede
And today is Michaels birthday!

Michael
I’m 4!

Beckybee/ Louloubug
Happy Birthday Michael!

Mrs Millipede
Michael wanted to play with his friends on his birthday so he decided to go and look for them. But he couldn’t find them anywhere.

Michael
I looked all around but I couldn’t find them anywhere.

Mrs Millipede
Michael went to Louloubugs house. He banged on the door and Louloubugs Grandma answered

Michael
Is Louloubug home?

Mrs Millipede
‘No’ said Louloubug’s Grandma

Mrs Millipede
So Michael went to Beckybees house. He banged on the door and Beckybees big sister answered

Michael
Is Beckybee home?

Mrs Millipede
‘No’ said Beckybees Big Sister. So Michael decided to go home as he had no friends to play with on his special birthday. He walked all the way home looking very sad. He got home and went in and then all of a sudden:

Everyone
Surprise

Mrs Millipede
Michael was so shocked

Michael
Ohhh! I thought you had forgotten. I was very sad and now I am very happy cause you are all here for my birthday

Mrs Millipede
Michael was so happy. And they all played in the garden till it was time to go home.

Michael
That was the best birthday ever

Mrs Millipede
Said Michael tucking into the last bit of birthday cake

This story was more controversial for me and cause quite alot of debate between the three of us. This story was originally written by Louise, my job was to change it and develope it to make it better.